One-Sentence Stories

“Sure hope that was a deer we just hit,” I said.

 

There I was, naked and alone, feeling new life stirring in my belly as I stared up at the rapidly-receding lights in the sky and wondering, What the hell just happened?

 

“Here’s the deal,” said the Devil: “I’ll make the girl of your dreams fall in love with you in exchange for giving you herpes.”

 

It wasn’t the way I’d expected to die– but of course, nobody expects to be torn to shreds by Bigfoot.

 

A word of advice: never use the same temporal coordinates twice when piloting a time machine.

 

After the best, most passionate sex I’d ever had in my life had concluded, I finally realized what the small, niggling thought in the back of my mind was trying to tell me: “So, what’s your name?” I asked.

 

Looking back on it, my grandpa wasn’t “overly affectionate”, but simply a pervert.

 

Keep in mind that geese don’t really like to have their tails pulled– I’ve learned that lesson the hard way.

 

Turns out that when you summon a demon, they don’t automatically have to obey– I guess we should have checked the latest errata.

 

“So,” said my second grade art teacher, “do you like movies about gladiators?”

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