blast from the (near-recent) past

Posted: March 14, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: ,

So, after I turned in my Phonology final today, I headed to the Stevenson coffee shop to take a nap, as is my wont.

I dozed off for about fifteen minutes. When I woke up, the coffee shop was playing a Pandora station that was basically a Top 40 station– if the year were 1998. They had it all– Destiny’s Child, Chumbawumba, Britney Spears, and other spectacular examples of late-nineties badness.

For a moment, I panicked. My mind was not making of the thinkings particularly well (I repeat: I’d just woken up), and because of that, I thought that I had spontaneously traveled through time fifteen years into the past. 

I turned to a nearby citizen, and trying not to sound too crazy, I cried, “wHAt yEar iS It?????” So, I pretty much failed spectacularly.

She gave me a puzzled look. “2013,” she said.

“Oh,” I replied. “Good.”

Satisfied that I had not gone all Billy Pilgrim, I went back to sleep, where I had a dream in which the full lineups of N*Sync, the Backstreet Boys, and One Direction did the Gangnam Style dance to Eiffel 65’s “Blue (Da Ba Dee)”.

Pity me, netizens, for I have seen the true face of horror.

I’ma go soak my brain in shoegazer and alt metal to get the stains out.

~ Ian

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