Creative Writing Wednesday: “The Epic Legend of Damien Fell”, Part 12

Posted: September 19, 2012 in Creative Writing Wednesday, The Epic Legend of Damien Fell
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“He’s driving me completely crazy,” Amber said. “He’s everywhere. I mean, everywhere. I can’t even go to the bathroom in peace. Somehow he seems to be always following me. Even to my house. How can he be in so many places at once?”

“Still not sure about that,” I replied. “Personally, I suspect witchcraft.”

“Hes always sending me love notes and things. Like, really crappy poetry. And he always wears that gas mask around. What’s the deal with that? I mean, it’s not like his face is that ugly!”

“He has a face? Wow… I’d assumed the existence of one, but there was no evidence to prove or disprove my theory.”

“Yeah, the teachers make him take it off in class,” said Amber. “But everywhere else, he always has it on.”

I was curious about this. The opportunity to probe into Gas Mask Lad’s life with someone who was in the same position I was in… I have to admit, it was tempting. So I seized the yoke of my opportunity (mixing a few metaphors in the process).

“Has he ever mentioned mind-controlling gas, or possibly toxic spores?” I asked.

“What? Why?”

“Because I want to know if your young Mr. Felman wears that mask because he thinks it’s some kind of cool and edgy fashion statement, or whether he’s just batshit fucking loco.”

“I don’t know…” Amber said. “I think a little bit of both.”

“Well, you’d have to be a little bit crazy to think that that thing’s appropriate headgear anywhere outside a trench in Flanders about 1917.”

She glared at me. “Can we get back on the subject that we were originally talking about?” she snapped. “‘Cause, I’d really like to get my life back.”

“Have you actually talked to him? Maybe he’d understand.”

“Tried. Didn’t work.”

“Threats of physical violence?”

“I tried to get my boyfriend Travis to beat him up. He just stared at Travis, and Travis got freaked and ran away.”

“Do you suspect that David Felman has latent psychic abilities, then?”

She looked puzzled. “Huh?”

“Sorry. Off topic again. So, you’ve tried hiding from him, reasoning with him, and threatening him. Have you tried humiliating him?”

“Will that work?” she exclaimed.

I smiled. “Well, judging from what I’ve heard of his interactions with you, and his own writing, David Felman has insecurity as big as the planet Neptune. He thinks he’s worse than anyone else, and this knowledge has pretty much driven him crazy. So I’m thinking that the way to finally cause him to break down is to exploit those insecurities. I’m thinking of some sort of cunning trap. Possibly a dinner date… Do you own a low-cut halter top?”

“You’re crazy!” Amber said. “I’m not going on a date with that little freak!”

“My dear girl,” I said, stroking my beard in what I assumed was a most dastardly fashion, “you only have to go on one. And I’ll be standing by the whole time. Ready to spring. Believe me, nobody knows more about humiliation than I do.”

“Really?”

“How do you think I got my freshman-year roommate to drop out of college?”

Amber Marconi picked at her turkey sandwich for a few seconds. “So you can really do this?” she asked. “Will it cost me anything?”

“Nothing whatsoever. I want to see that little shit put in his place just as much as you do.”

She thought this over. “All right. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

A plan was already forming in my head, a masterful plan that would end with my adversary’s complete and utter annihilation. The pieces were all falling into place. I could practically taste revenge, and it was so sweet…

“Let’s get started,” I said.

***

Creative Writing Wednesday resumes business as usual next week. Same bat-time, same bat-channel.

 

The Epic Legend of Damien Fell

Chapter 12: Epilogue of Shadow

Damien Fell was ready to take on the final battle. ANd he knew it was the final battle. He knew it in the core of his being, knowing it knowingly like nothing he’d ever known before. It was time for the end to begin.

It was time for the showdown.

“cOmE aNd ClAiM hEr, DaMiEn FeLl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” screached the twisted, malformed entity that was Lord Hateshadowe’s malformed and twisted soul. “CoMe AnD cLaIm YoUr LoVeR, bEfOrE i FeAsT oN HeR sOuL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“I will destroy you, you know,” Damien Fell grunted, flapping his wings and hovering in the suspended sea of not-air that made up the world of Chaos. “I’ll rip your spine out and snap it in half before I let you kill my Ambaryssa.”

“aH, sO yOu SaY!!!!!!!” shouted Lord Hatesdhaow. “bUt I aM sTrOnGeR tHaN yOu In ThE eNd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Just watch me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Damien Fell exploded.

And with that, he beat his mighty wings, bird feathers and bat leather cacthing on the immiterial substance of Chaos as he flew forward, drawing his two pistols. With a noise like bottled thunder, the pistols exploded in his hands, shattering into a million peaces. The pieces then turned into tiny, delicate green beetles and flew away.

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1” cried Damien Fell. “Those were the only pistols in all of Evershyria!!!!!!!! I made them with my own hands!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

He raised his arms and shouted “KCOHSREDNUHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Inteding to send a mightly gout of lightening at Lord Hateshadowe. But instead of delivering the correct amount of electricity, two multicolored snakes shot out of his arms, and stuck their tongues out at him before melting into sunlight-colored snow.

“How is this possible!!!!!!!” roared Damien Fell. “I can’t believe this!!!! It must be………. that on the Plane of Chaos magic doesn’t function properly!!!!!!!!!!”

“YoU hAvE jUsT fIgUrEd ThAt OuT, dAmIeN fElL????????????????????????” the soul of Lord Hateshadowe grated. “yOu MuSt Be StUpIdEr ThAn I tHoUgHt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Then I’ll have to kill you the old-fashioned way!!!!!!!!” Damien Fell raged, and he drew Stormshadow, swinging it about his head like a deadly whirlwind of sharp steel.

“CoMe AnD tRy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

After that, Damien Fell wasn’t sure what had happened.

Time seemed to shift and change, melting about him like so much string cheese.

And it seemed to Damien Fell that he WAS Lord Hateshadowe, just as he was Ambaryssa, and he was everything else in the world, an all-consuming darkness that lurked at the hearts of stars.

He was nothing.

He was everything.

He was a god, creating multiverses out of pure fermament.

He was a jeelyfish floating on the ocean tide.

He was a warrior.

He was a mayden.

He was suddenly every soul that had ever lived.

An eternity of souls, stretching for millions of years into the past, and the future (for what is the future, if not an alternate past?).

And he seemed to lose himself on the shifting sands of everything that made up all worlds, passing through trillions of years in a single heartbead, falling through eternity so softly that you could hear a pencil drop, screaming his mind out with madness and pain and anarchy……………………………………………………………

And then, after all that, he rememebered who he was.

He was the Warrior of Darkness.

He was Damien Fell.

With a single mighty swing of his sword, Damien Fell attacked Lord Hateshadowe, cutting the ten-eyed three-mouthed head from its shoulders……………………………..

The realm of Chaos disipated around him.

Suddenly there was nothing left but the cave walls and giant statues.

The Womb of Shadow and Light.

He was home. And Ambaryssa was in his arms.

She stirred delicately. “Damien?” she said. “Where was I………………….”

Damien Fell kissed her on the lips. “It doesn’t matter,” he said. “Your safe now.”

Slowly, tenderly, the Warrior of Darkness began to make love to the Mayden of Lyghte.

The world stood still.

*************************************************************************

A week later, when they’d finally finished their lovemaking, the two of them stood overlooking the lake of lava outside the Womb of Shadow and Light, holding hands.

“Are you sure that you have to go, my love?” asked Ambaryssa.

“I must,” he said, kissing her on the top of the head. “I made a promise, remember, to Jorquim, King of the Griffons. And I fulfill my promise. I am an honorable man, above all else.”

“But for a year and a day………………………..” said Ambaryssa. “What will I do until then?”

“You can go to Karass Mor,” said Damien Fell. “I’m sure your father misses you greatly.

“My father…………………………………….” Ambarssa said. “I barely remember him. It was so long ago.”

Damien Fell smiled. “I’d like to meet him,” said Damien Fell. “And when I return, we can get married. And go to that little house by the mountain lake where the Keeper of Darkness said we would live.”

“That would be lovely,” said Ambaryssa. “I want to be at your side forever.”

“Me too,” said Damien Fell. He kissed her, one last time.

“I must go now,” Damien fell said. “Jorquim awaits me.” And he spread his angel-demon wings wide, and took to the sky.

My boyfriend is the coolest guy ever, Ambaryssa thought.

She watched and waited until he was nothing more than a tiny black dot against the blue sky, and then until he’d finally disappeared. Then she turned to go. It was a long way to Karass Mor, and she had to tell them the tale. Of how Travyss died. Of how the world was saved.

And deep within her belly, Ambaryssa could feel new life stirring……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

THE END??????????????????????????

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