an experiment

Posted: September 17, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,

I’ll be honest: whenever I post stuff here about the craft of writing, I always feel like a pretentious douchebag.

Even when I try to be sincere and honest about how I feel about this strange process known as creation, when I read it back over, I can’t help but wince.

So, as an experiment, I’m going to try to create the most douchebaggy writing post ever, so that I won’t have to ever feel sad about being pretentious on my lame blog ever again.


Here we go.


Writing is not truly a solitary art. Writing is not simply the writer speaking aloud to the reader, a direct transmission of thoughts from brain to brain, a telepathic union of human souls. Writing is instead collaborative. No story is complete until it has been read. Writers do not tell the story perfectly. The reader takes the story and makes it complete, for without the reader’s imagination augmenting and melding with the writer’s, what is there? Just a sad fucker performing the equivalent of creative wanking alone in a room.

But there is a third entity, which combines with and transcends the writer-reader relationship. That is the story itself, and it is tricky and winding, like a buttered snake: oozing and wending its way through the chaos of human minds, something that cannot be controlled, only guided, something that is not dead, but alive.

And when these three entities, the storyteller, the listener, and the story meet, they swim in the hazy color-realm that is known as the Aetherium, that is to say, imagination. And when these three join together in the Aetherium, they perform a mating dance that echoes throughout time and space itself, casting ripples that are dreams, and stars that are inspiration.


I think that’s enough pretension for several human lifetimes, don’t you?

And now, here is a funny image:

~ Ian

  1. Nikki Manson says:

    Hey, it’s absolutely normal to feel like you might sound pretentious when you talk about things in general – so to speak, “big thoughts”.

    Just make sure you sound like you’re offering an experimental opinion rather than making a claim for indisputable truth.

    I hope this doesn’t sound pretentious in turn lol :)

  2. beckony says:

    But you see, this is like the Impossible Device theory of science fiction. If someone points out that it ought to be impossible, then the audience forgives it. You point out that this ought to be pretentious, therefore it becomes funny and true.

    And you have a Loki picture. Bonus comic points.

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