The Quotable Quotes of Jannek Harms

Posted: July 24, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

My German brother Jannek is leaving to go back to Germany tomorrow. Now I’ll miss him for many reasons: his sense of humor, his friendliness, his smokin-hot body– but most of all, because of the unique way he uses English.

Because I wanted to share some of my favorite Jannekisms, here they are:

 

Jannek: In Germany, the cars go so fast on the Autobahn that the soup from the windshield wipers goes over the car without touching the roof!

Calum: Um… no. Not soup. You mean soap.

Jannek: Oh. What’s soup, then?

Dad: Zuppe.

Jannek: That’s stupid! Why would you put Zuppe in windshield wipers!

 

Jannek (trying to explain what Fleischsalat is): So… you take pork, and you crush it, and you put it into a sausage… but it’s not a sausage, it’s a very big sausage!

Dirk (another German, who has lived in America for much longer): It’s baloney with mayonnaise.

 

Jannek: I think I just saw an Uhu!

Me: Yeah. We call those owls in English.

Jannek: No. I know what an owl is. That was an Uhu.

Me: Is an Uhukind of owl?

Jannek: No. It is like an owl, only bigger and different.

(It was a Great Horned Owl. So, yeah.)

 

Jannek: (puts a towel over his head and making vaguely Arabic-sounding noises)

Me: Jannek, that’s really racist.

Jannek: No. I am a Mars alien from the Mars.

 

Jannek (telling a joke): So, a man walks into the place where you get jobs, and he says, “Hey, I want a job.” And, um, yeah.

 

Me: Hey, you know what baloney is, don’t you?

Jannek: Yeah. It’s like Fleischsalat.

Me: Well, do you know what we mean when we say, “That’s baloney!”

Jannek: No.

Me: It’s like a more polite way of saying, “That’s bullshit!”

Jannek: Oh. (pause) You’re talking baloney out of your mouth!

 

I’ll really miss him.

~ Ian

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