predatory danish email scams

Posted: May 9, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

In my Shakespeare class this quarter, we’re currently reading a little-known and minor comedy called Hamlet. Because my brain is incredibly weird sometimes, I came up with this completely random piece of crazy bullshit. I call it “Spamlet”.

Think of it as kind of a bonus Creative Writing Wednesday for this week.

~ Ian


Honourable sir or madam’

I give blessigns to gOd that I have found a person who may possibly help me out from my currant situation. I hope that you will to chose be noble, and to help out a fellow humane being who is in dire and despirate need))

Allow my to introduce myself my name is HAMLET. I am a Royal Prince of Denmark, and have exceedingly wealthy stores of moneys that totals up in their entirety to well over 400 millions of dollars. However I have fallen on despiration and look only to you, my potentil benifactor from a far nation\ My father king Hamlet was murdered by my uncle, claudius who scarsely a month after the funeral of my father the kIng married my, mother Gertrude, which let me in a state most very profonde depression. After my fathers’ foul and unknoble murder I was chancing to see my Father’s Ghost upone the walls of my magnificint and expensive catsle where i was changed by my father’s gh0st to avenge his murder by doing away with his murderer my uncle, and in an attempt to avnege my Fathers death I aciidentally murdreed my uncles councillor POlonius. I am currently in england where i await the speedy and charitable return of this email from you, my friend in a time of disparate need. I cannot acess my incredibly vast and wealthy fortune from here in england so i must turn to the kidness of a stranger to help me in my time of sorrows. Please send me, a check, in the order of 5000$dolars and i will repay you ten times over again when i am back in denmarK and have avenged my farther and ceded myself on the throne. 

May Gods’ Blessing Go With You At All Times, 



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