Overheard in the Dining Hall…

Posted: April 6, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

INT: The Cowell/Stevenson Dining Hall. It is crowded and bustling with hordes of young people and other Damn Kids. IAN is sitting at a table, eating a plate of macaroni and cheese. Two GIRLS sit down near him, at a different table.

GIRL 1: Fuck men! You know? Fuck ’em.

GIRL 2: Why this time?

GIRL 1: You know. How many times have you ever had an orgasm in your life? Be honest.

GIRL 2: Umm… probably three?

GIRL 1: That’s what I mean! I’ve never had an orgasm. Lots of women have never had orgasms! But men, they have orgasms all the time! It’s easy for them. They don’t have to work for it.

GIRL 2: Yeah, I see what you mean…

GIRL 1: I mean, look at that guy over there. (points to a RANDOM DUDE, who is not IAN) That guy probably had twelve orgasms this week.

GIRL 2: I wouldn’t be surprised if he had twelve orgasms today.

GIRL 1: See? You know what I mean!

GIRL 2: Is there a surreptitious way to go up and check how hairy his palms are?

(IAN misses the next part of this conversation, because his face is buried in his macaroni, and he is snorting with laughter. When he finally pulls his face out of his macaroni, the GIRLS have moved on from their previous topic of conversation.)

GIRL 2: The soup is good today.

GIRL 1: It is so good!

~ Ian

  1. Will says:

    I like this one a lot because (1) the dialogue reads well, and (2) although they’re complaining about men, they’re really not criticizing men, they’re just envying them.

    • Ian Johnson says:

      Don’t compliment me– compliment the women who had this conversation, which I had the privilege of overhearing. (They honestly seemed like awesome people. I think we could hang out.)

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