Archive for April 4, 2012

…I lolcatted the third-most iconic Pink Floyd album cover.

Wait– is that even accurate? I mean, Dark Side of the Moon is the most iconic, and then The Wall, but I think that most people who have a good knowledge of album cover art are familiar with Animals‘ cover… and what about The Division Bell? Those big metal heads are pretty famous… Atom Heart Mother? That’s the one with the cow, and I think most Floyd fans would recognize its cover…

So I think it goes Dark Side of the MoonThe WallWish You Were HereAnimals, The Division BellAtom Heart Mother… is A Momentary Lapse of Reason an iconic enough album cover? Am I just rambling?

…I need some sleep…

~ Ian

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…Why yes. In case you were wondering, I did turn Patrick Rothfuss into a lolcat.

I am just as shocked and horrified at myself as the rest of you are.

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE!

(The technical term for pictures of this sort is called a lolpat, by the way.)

 

And finally, because I am a Browncoat until death, here’s a picture of Pat’s son with a 100% genuine Grade-A Firefly quote below it…

 

 

Either I am a genius or I am completely insane.

In any case, I think we all win in the end.

~ Ian

I’m not going to be writing a long post today. I had a terrible night last night, and I’m really friggin’ tired. Maybe when I catch up on my sleep I can dazzle you with my scintillating wit… but not now.

Currently I’m in the middle of working on a short story called “Cassandra” (title pending). It’s about re-living your childhood, and alien invasions, and video games… and all sorts of things. And I think it’s pretty good. Too good to put up on my blog in its entirety. Maybe I’ll post a snippet or two, eventually… but I’m hoping to send this one out for publication.

Anyway, for your amusement and delight, here are some one-sentence stories I did recently, inspired by Hemingway’s famous six-word story (for sale, baby shoes, never worn) and Paul & Storm’s One Sentence Songs. (That’s quite a pair of influences, isn’t it?)

I’m too tired to write right now. Must go sleep.

Love,

~ Ian

 

One Sentence Stories

“Sure hope that was a deer we just hit,” I said.

There I was, naked and alone, feeling new life stirring in my belly as I stared up at the rapidly-receding lights in the sky and wondering, What the hell just happened?

“Here’s the deal,” said the Devil: “I’ll make the girl of your dreams fall in love with you in exchange for giving you herpes.”

It wasn’t the way I’d expected to die– but of course, nobody expects to be torn to shreds by Bigfoot.

A word of advice: never use the same temporal coordinates twice when piloting a time machine.

After the best, most passionate sex I’d ever had in my life had concluded, I finally realized what the small, niggling voice in the back of my head was trying to tell me: “So, what’s your name?” I asked.

Looking back on it, my grandpa wasn’t “overly affectionate”, but simply a pervert.

Keep in mind that geese don’t really like to have their tails pulled– I’ve learned that lesson the hard way.

Turns out that when you summon a demon, they don’t automatically have to obey– I guess we should have checked the latest errata.

“So,” said my second grade art teacher, “do you like movies about gladiators?”